Bring 'sex' back into your marriage!

Don'tlet your memories of passion stay only as memories. Keep the sexup!
You will often find married couplesopining that one must forget their period of romance and passion post marriage.The heights of ecstatic passion that you shared previously is said to die a slowdeath once domesticity sets in.
Prior to tying the knot, youmay have dreamt that your sex life will only sizzle after you both start livingunder the same roof.Wake up! A lot changes after marriage. The same moments ofpassion are divided between cribbing about your respective workplace stresses ormundane domestic issues. And by the time the two of you hit the sack, you areready to doze off. Very often, sex takes a backseat. Where previously youcouldn't keep your hands off each other when together, now you see the frequencyof sex dwindling. But have you ever analysed the reasons for a sharp fall insex?
Domesticissues: After marriage, domestic issuesconsume a lot of your time which normally you would have spent with yourpartner. Former air hostess Stuti Behl shares her story. "Before marriage Inever had a day of chipped nails or improper nail paint. I used to pamper myselfwell and look forward to my time with my hubby Sandeep. But after marriagesuddenly I realised that all my freedom had gone for a toss. I now have to worryabout groceries, non functional geysers, and planning our daily menu. Itconsumes all my time." Web developer Sushant Dev has a similar issue with hismarriage. "My booze parties have stopped, so have my free style of living. I amalways burdened by domestic issues. Since my wife is working I am dragged intoevery bit of household nitty gritties. I can't help but miss but footloose andfancy free days when I could keep an untidy house, binge and have wild nights.The discipline also mars my sexual capacity, making it boring."
Relationship consultantSandeep Kapur agrees, "After marriage, life takes a 360 degrees turn for everywoman. Sometimes it could lead to withdrawal symptoms as well, as she sees herhusband leading the same life while she's the one making all the compromises.It's foolish to expect the same time for yourself. One should embrace thischange with open arms. Don't resist change. Attach fun activities to yourdomestic chores. It will take off theboredom."
Workpressure: Work pressure takes a toll onanyone, married couples being no exception. But there is something that makes itworse for them. Says marketing manager Pradeep Verma who's been married for twoyears, "I was quite competitive at my workplace prior to my wedding. I would sittill late and even support my colleagues with their work. But now when I getsome challenging, hard-hitting assignment off late, I fret about it. I am unableto concentrate. After a heavy day at work, you don't think about sex. Infact,this period of recession has taken a further toll on peoples' life." Copy writerKavita Sinha who recently got married bears the same woes. "I am not able togive my best to the work. As the clock strikes 6 pm, the thought of returninghome occupies half my mind space since my husband expects me to be home on time.Once I reach, I am expected to be the dutiful wife tending to all householdactivities. Sometimes I just want to tell my hubby about my professional woes,and not just sleep with him. It's tough walking the tight rope between homemaker and professionalexecutive."
Psychologist SamirParekh says, "It is important to prioritise to be able to manage everything. Donot try to be perfect and too harsh on yourself. It will only stress you out.Sharing your work woes helps you connect and distress."
Kids demandattention: This is the obvious, butdeserves mentioning. Kids have a huge affect on a couple's sex life. "Nothinggoes as per plan when kids are concerned. On days when we plan to have sex,sometimes my daughter falls ill or she insists on sleeping with me," cribshousewife Namita Kapoor. Post pregnancy depression is another reason that hitswomen's libido. Legal executive Vishal Khattar shares, "My wife has put me laston her priority list. It's only the child who consumes her thoughts all thetime. I am so scared to talk about sex."
Gynecologist Anjali Kumarexplains, "Post partum depression is common amongst women. She feels vulnerableand drained out all the time due to the hormonal changes in her body. She'slearning how to rebalance her life so it's normal to see her behave erratically.Men need to be patient because she has put her needs as well down on the list.He must make her feel beautiful and wanted and understand her emotions."
Boredom settlesin: The seven year itch isn't a myth.There are many couples who suffer from boredom. Content writer Dipti Das says,"I am married for three years and we have started taking each other for granted.Sex has totally taken a backseat. Even on nights when I feel like having sex, Iam too weighed to ask. So I simply drop the idea and hit the bed."
Suggests psychologist NatashaSinghal, "Monotony sets in everyone's life after a period of time because ofdeadlines, kids, domestic pressure. It's very difficult to get out of thisroutine. It's important to give yourself a break once in a while. Share a hobbyor start doing some fun activity together. 'Touch' plays a vital role in uppingthe sex urge."
She���s readyand you are not: Commonly we see caseswhere one of the partner has a stronger libido than the other. And this mismatchcan lead to a lot of problems. Explains sexologist Vikrant Sinha, "It is veryimportant to communicate your sexual needs in the most respectful way. Thereshould be no attacking or blaming. Ask for a special night or a erotic massage,whatever that makes you feel connected to your spouse." Agrees PR consultantManisha Kishore, "I suffer from a super active libido. We used to have a lot offights previously, but then I resorted to this method. To add that fun elementwe flip a coin to determine who starts the giving. It works during low points."
Reminiscingabout the highs of the dating period leaves a foul taste in your mouth. Butthere are few quick fixes that can spice up your sex life years aftermarriage:
Dressup: Now that you are married and you haveseen each other in your worst moments, you don't need to take that image forgranted. Surprise your partner. Women, invest in sexy lingerie if you have notinvested in one for sometime. Men, do not wear your ugly boxers or fadedT-shirts. Replace them with attractive night wear.
Make your bedrooma romantic nook: This is a quick fix.Clean the mess and turn your bedroom into a pleasure paradise. Spread scentedcandles in your room and play it up with aromatic fragrances. Buy bedroomaccessories in bright, sexy colours like red, pink and purple. Install a nicemusic system that can, at the touch of a button play some romantic numbers.
Spice up yourbathroom: Spray exotic fragrances in yourbathroom. Install bright shower curtains and get expensive creams, lotions andbathing gels that you can indulge in before hitting the bead. It will definitelyturn on your man or woman.
Shed those extrapounds: Just because you are married andsettled doesn't give you the right to let your health routine go for a toss.Indulge in a regular workout to get an envious body that your partner feelsattracted to. He/she will soon start admiring your body.
Pay enoughattention: Stop being a couch potato or aworkaholic when at home. Dump your remote control and laptop and indulge in somepleasure moments with your spouse. Remember, communication is the key. Thefarther you let yourself go, the distance will keep on increasing. Try a newactivity or challenge your spouse - you may see them in a newlight.
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